I am
my own
radar towards radiation
not redemption
non-sanctuary for this seeker
moving inwards
soul searching for
I am
ready
(been ready for long)
yet no teacher
in sight for this student
still
scrabbling in the dark night of
don't know
how to become convert
confounded in the unraveling
confusion via coddiwomple
confident stumbles into the unknown
other world,
which—yet to be, is possible,
is here, whispering trail notes
I cannot hear
for the din called must keep doing
& doing
& doing
& doing
or I'll die trying
to understand
what is this
limbo
purgatory on earth
where I purge pleasure and pain
w/ the disappearance of
I-thought
surely
return to self
should be easier than
this
sole
mission is clear
as mud
upon which they say the lotus blooms
but still,
wisdom woos and warns me
to find the ways
that suit each unfolding
tools,
techniques,
mechanisms even
use whatever utilitarian
lingo for sense-making
then drop all
concepts clouding the infinite
w/ identification
for there is none, in truth
a pathless land,
field out there
beyond wrongdoing and right being,
just meet me
there, where
I am.